RP/D Stuffed (Closed)

"Excuse me, Lady Corrine."  Steward Gareth looks very concerned.  "It's Maester Ronnel.  There's a bit of a problem.  I think you need to see this."

Corrine followed Gareth right away.

"What's wrong? Is he alright?"

"No, I don't think he is.  he isn't hurt, but well..." Gareth shrugs, unable to find the words he needs and simply leads the Lady to an area deep beneath the keep.  He stops at a landing on stone steps leading deeper yet.  

There, kneeling among old and broken crates and other detritus of castle life, Maester Ronnel kneels, sobbing... no, blubbering.

Surrounded by loaves of bread, wrinkled fruits, dried meats and a very large jar of jam, he  shovels food into hi mouth so fast that he can't chew it all.  Wet crumbs cling to his robe and fall onto food he still tries to eat.  Ronnel falls onto his hands, he scrapes fallen food and pushes it back in.

"I don't know if this has happened before,but certainly we don't want word of such behaviour getting out.  Especially after that scene in the square last week."  Gareth whispers not without some sympathy for the young man.

((OOC - this is not an actual mechanical drawback - Ronnel's gluttony is his vice))

"Thank you, Gareth. Perhaps you should leave us. I don't want to add to his distress."

She moved down the steps, not hurrying, as she did not want to startle Ronnel. At the foot of the steps, a few paces away from the maester, she tentatively called to him.

"Maester Ronnel?"

"Go away... please, just go away." His voice is barely audible. Gobs of mushy half chewed food and great wracking sobs obfuscate his words. A meaty fist grabs a loaf and he starts taking large bites of stale, what might even be mouldy bread.

She went to his side and took the bread from his hand, crouching down to grasp him by the shoulders.

"Ronnel, stop," she commanded firmly, her eyes fixed on him, though more with worry than anger. "Ronnel, why have you done this? What's wrong?"

"Hungry... so hungry.  I tried.  Tried not to be a pig..."

She knelt beside Ronnel and took him into her arms, rocking him gently, rubbing his back with one hand, as she did with the children when they were in distress.

"Oh Ronnel, I'm sorry. I did not know you were struggling. You are not a pig. It's alright. You should have come to me if you needed food. The things down here are not good for you. We don't want you to get sick. Is this because of what Crinda did to you?"

"No.. maybe. This time."

"So, this is not the first time?"

Ronnel shakes has head in mute shame. "I was perhaps four, the first time. It has been two years since the last."

"Oh Ronnel, you poor thing. Come with me. Let's go to your chambers and get you cleaned up. Then we can talk about this."

He can do nothing but nod. To those they pass, he must seem like the kitchen itself declared war on him.

Corrine keeps her arm round him, and took him to his chambers by the quieter corridors, so less people would see him.

In his chambers, she helped him wash his face and hands, then as he changed into a fresh robe, she sent for some chamomile tea.

"Right, you're going to be alright. Now, come sit with me, have some tea, and tell me what has been causing these episodes."

"Causing them, Lady?"  Ronnel sits and accepts the tea, automatically looking about for the biscuits...

"I was barely toddling when the great fire destroyed so much of Harrenhal and killed so many, including my parents."  He laughs sardonically.  "For as long as I can recall, I was fat.  Even as a wee boy in King's Landing, with little food to eat, I was fat.  And hungry.  Always hungry.  I eat when I am happy or sad or busy or not.  That is pretty much all the time, Lady.  I do not eat when I am asleep, as far as I know.

I had to fight for every scrap with three older cousins who would take my food if I did not eat fast enough.  So I learnt to shove as much in as I could so others wouldn't want it.

I went to live at the house where my cousin worked.  House Throll.  A bunch as undeserving the title Noble as any I've met.  But their Maester, Tramin took a liking to me because I was not an idiot like the heirs.  Tramin liked that I learnt quickly and he gave me a closet in which to sleep.  Finally there was more than enough to eat.  I got on well with the kitchen staff, helping however I could and they fed me scraps all day long.

But still, I always ate as fast as I could, terrified that someone would find out and take it from me.  Once it was in, I knew, no one would want it back!"

"I've never grown... and see you that I have indeed grown, to be able to control that fear.  At the Citadel, some boys got into trouble and the the Headmaester believed that I knew what happened."  Ronnel looks at his feet for a long time.

"He locked me in a room with no food for one day.  One day, my Lady.  I told him the boys were out getting drunk and murdering babies and beggars.  I told that they were setting fires and laughing while people burnt to death in their homes.  i said horrible things so bad that he knew I was lying and asked me why.  I told him I would die without eating.  Without knowing it, he had actually tortured me." He pauses again, sure that she is horrified and disgusted with him as most are.

"You have not seen that in me, because I make sure to eat as much as I can, if I must attend your hall to eat. Most times I take food to my rooms, not just because I am busy, but to hide my habits."

She put down her tea and stroked his arm, her eyes so full of pity that she was almost crying.

"You poor soul. I cannot imagine how awful that must be. No wonder you have these urges, if you learnt from a young age that food was scarce and that others could take it away at any time. I am so sorry that happened to you. I would say that I would never allow anyone here to do that to you, nor allow you to go hungry. But I suppose it is not that simple, to undo so many years of pain. You are a good person, Ronnel, and I want to help you confront this problem."

"Oh I know people would not do that here, Lady. I know it here." He taps at a temple with a chubby digit. "But, here and here?" I do not think so well in those places." he points at his heart and his belly. It doesn't happen often now, but when it does, I am almost... mad with hunger."

She nodded solemnly, still stroking his arm slowly.

"I could see that you had lost control. But I also saw how it was hurting you. If you feel like that again, instead of hiding yourself away with food, I want you to come see me. I think you need to confront this to overcome it."

"I will try, Lady. but I make no promises. Sometimes I do not know I am in the throes until it is far to late. S... some of the problem is others. not that you or anyone is responsible. but too see pity or disgust on another's face, to have them think I am too weak, too soft to help myself. That drives me to hide, I think."

"I see. I am worried about you, my dear, but I do not think you weak. It clearly takes great strength to resist these urges. Just promise me you won't eat rotten food anymore."

He shrugs. "I will try, Lady, that I do promise."

"If you're going to gorge yourself, at least eat food that won't poison you. I wish you had told me about this sooner. You know I can't help if I am not aware of a problem."

"Yes, Lady."

Noticing that she didn't seem to be helping, she took his hand.

"I'm sorry, Ronnel. My berating you isn't helpful. Let me know if I can help, and please try not to be so hard on yourself. We all have our vices."

"No, Lady. I am not upset with you. I appreciate that you want to help and I will try and be more forthcoming in future." he manages a weak smile.